Ash Wednesday

I'm back in the boat.  Even though I need routine, I resist.  I've returned from the Alps and slowed down enough from a miraculous deluge of work that came in after my return from Europe.  So I am here to blog once again.  

It is Ash Wednesday and for those who aren't Catholic or unfamiliar with the meaning, it is the first day of Lent.  You won't know what that is either, I guess.  Well anyway, lets just say it signifies the anticipation of spring for me and the observance of Jesus's final days on earth. I think the 40 days of Lent is a symbol of Jesus's 40 days in the desert too.  Many good Catholics repent, fast, contemplate their existence and offer themselves in humble service during this period.  There will be a Mass or prayer service for those observing Catholics and Ashes will be distributed upon the forehead.  "From ashes we come to ashes we return."  Kind of a scary thing for a young girl growing up Catholic.  It just dawned on me how much the Catholic faith drives home the death thing.  No wonder I am so preoccupied with dying.  I was exposed to the grotesque, mangled and bloody way too early.  I remember being mesmerized by the religious paintings of Caravaggio.  In particular, the crucifixion of  Christ.  If you've never seen this painting look here.  I'd torture myself with these images. My mother had these art books laying around the house and I'd spend hours testing my courage.  I'd jump over the pages with the scary paintings and then slowly, like I was sneaking up on it, I'd turn back to them peeking over the edge of the page into the dark, shadowy mangled body of Christ hanging on the cross.  I guess this is where I might have developed my morbid sense of humor too.

Today I will participate.  I want to shoot the observants and the ceremony for my show and maybe I need a little touch of humility myself.  One can never have enough.

Greg Miller, a fellow Nashvillian and a Guggenheim Fellow has a series on Ash Wednesday here.  I had forgotten how big the Catholic population of NYC was.  

The Bitter Photographer

I came across a post today at a blog I frequent left by The Bitter Photographer and had to go check him out.  Wow.  I have to say it was so refreshing.  He is blogging about things so many of us are afraid to say out loud or we share only in the safety of our inner circles.  Of course he blogs anonymously.  Why not!  Who cares who he is.  The point is he is saying things that most of us photogs think- maybe the well balanced, spiritual giants don't think this way.  I know I am working on staying positive but sometimes I just got to let it out.  One of the post was particularly hilarious (all of them are hilarious).  It was about Kwaku Alston and his similarities to Jay Silverman.  Why I find this particularly funny is people rave about this photographer's ability.  Yes, he is good, but he has taken some pretty ordinary photos, just like us all.  So why do people rave about his work as if it was fabulous and worthy of adoration.  Not long ago I had the privilege of meeting with a particular photo rep turned photo consultant who took a considerable amount of time oohing and ahhing over KA.   At that time I had no idea who he was and I was like...."what is this all about?"  I felt like I was in the Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale "The Emperor's New Suit."  The Bitter Photographer is probably not a blog I'll go to everyday, and well he isn't really posting anymore,  but somedays I will have to check in to see if there is someone out there seeing that the Emperors is in his underwear.

Lisa Kereszi - Photographer by Default

I am so glad to find her.  I love her personality.  " I think I have this mild, depressive personality....  My uncle saw one of my shows......And he came up to me and said, isn't it the most depressing thing in the world to try to have fun."    I relate to her on many levels.  This is just a short little interview of her walking around Governors Island where she had done a series of images for a special artist group show.  Its is a short 1 or 2 minute film that is paradoxically fun and light considering the story behind her photography series and the defunct project at Governors Island.  Check it out here.  

Happy New Year

I am looking forward to learning more, seeing more, loving more.  Thank you for 2008!

Just received a link from my friend to a beautiful story by photographer Philip Toledano-Days with My Father.  It put her in mind of mine and my mom's story.  It has given me the impetus to continue photographing mom.  Reading how Philips relationship is with his father is heart warming and real.  I love the idea his wife had,  to get a Hooter's Girl to come read stories to his dad each week since his dad is still very much appreciative of women.  How kind and respectful and fun.  It is a reminder that we are not gone until we are gone.  Nothing sad about that...

Tierney Gearon-Photographer

Tierney Gearon-The Mother Project was off my radar until Netflix suggested this to me.  I was like an assistant again watching her shoot. I loved how revealing the documentary was. (I am such a voyeur.)   Reviews were mediocre for the film.  You'd have to be a photographer to really appreciate this film or a psychology student or someone who had experienced or is experiencing a deconstruction of your childhood.

My feelings towards her fluctuate between anger and understanding.   Part of me sees Tierney as a self absorbed artist driven to the point of addiction and someone who was exploited by the Art World as she exploited her mother.   Then again, I see what a gift Tierney and her mother and children have given us by this opening of their lives.  I see them as brave and innocent, strong and giving.   I am moved by it all.  So I guess it is successful as an art film, and a project and, she, as an artist.  I am emotionally stirred by the whole experience.  

The image that stands out to me the most is the one of her mother standing on the frozen lake with the most comfortable, relaxed expression.  She is beautiful and Tierney was honoring and loving for shooting it.  The film has this particular shoot or day recorded.  I guess by seeing what her mother gave her makes the image that much more powerful for me.  I was very anxious for them walking out on a thawing lake.  I saw everyone was profiting from this venture except the mother.  She was making it all happen.  And Tierney was obviously thankful. 

Her mother may have been lacking in nurturing as Tierney was growing up but she certainly is giving to her now.

Sam Wagstaff

Yesterday while lying about on the couch mending a sick body I watched the biography/documentary Black White + Gray by James Crump about Sam Wagstaff and his lover and friend, Robert Mapplethorpe.  I knew all about Mapplethorpe but nothing about Sam Wagstaff.  He was a huge influence on photography and its rise to popularity as a true art form during the 70's and 80's.  If anyone is interested in learning a little bit about how this man contributed to the art scene and history of these two men check out the film.  It is not as much information as I'd like so I will be doing more research on Sam Wagstaff if possible but there are interviews with some interesting people about their relationship with Mapplethorpe and Wagstaff, such as Patti Smith, Dominick Dunne.