"Home Improvement" for flood victims-Interested? http://ping.fm/rDg5I

Images from week one in flooded west Nashville http://ping.fm/hpzij

Nashville Flood Week One

The flooding of middle Tennessee hadn't personally effected me since I live on high ground. All around me, though, is the Harpeth River and the Cumberland is less than 2 miles away. I see the devastation up-close and daily. I spent Thursday walking one street of a severely hit area just soaking the experience all in. There is nothing that can really bring the enormity or reality of the situation into focus as to being there personally. Friday I returned to the same street to sling a stick - doing my part in demolition. I can't just take pictures I have to give something back.

Walking down the streets of the flood destroyed areas of Nashville is like going into some weird world. Above are a few things I've seen this past week.

Fotofest Recap (Sort Of) and Rosalind Solomon

Last month and the beginning of this month I was in Houston for Fotofest. Wait a minute...

Let's see, how do I want to continue? I have had a hard time coming back to this blog b/c it just seems my time is being eaten up and this is just more food on my plate. It seems to be feeding my ongoing fear of not getting enough. How can it be a true benefit to me? What good is it doing for me? So rather than waste my time explaining what went on at Fotofest, which was a lot even though I had only one day at The Meeting Place, I think I will make this a journal entry of sorts or I will make a list of more things I need to do to stay relevant in this world of photography. That was the big word for me at Fotofest, btw. Relevancy.

1.) Shoot more

2.) Shoot more

3.) Shoot more

To keep my head on straight and not get too deep in the muck of negativity I have to remind myself that I must shoot what I know, what intrigues me, what is my world. I have to stop chasing the world and be in it.

While there at Fotofest I found myself comparing my work with all the wonderful work I saw the other participants showing. While seeing so much work can be daunting I did learn much.

1.) Be concise

2.) Be consistent

3.) Be considerate of the viewers interest.

Reading all the blogs and looking at countless sites of other photographers can be discouraging for me. Much of what I am doing seems to be done already and who needs another viewpoint. I see so much redundancy out there already.

So why go out and shoot more? Why add work to my life? Maybe that is my answer? It shouldn't be work; it should be my passion. What is my passion then?

A link was sent to me by a photo friend of mine and it is as if he knew where my mind was. It gave me an answer to the above question. It is a validating and comforting interview and if you are not familiar with Rosiland Solomon's work I think the interview at AmericanSuburbX might be a good introduction.

In the interview she states, and I am not quoting exactly here, that looking at other photographer's work is not good for her. She found inspiration in the other arts.

I went to the opera last week and I was so happily inspired. There was no pressure I put on myself. I simply let go and enjoyed it. Maybe I will plant a tree today.

FotoFest highlight for Sunday the 28th "curatorial symposium- curating contemporary photography". Much history and an interesting debate

Addition/Addiction

I am experimenting with adding imagery on my site that reflects my desire to be an "Artist". I shoot so many things that are more an experience than anything. The images seem to serve no other reason than to give me something to do while doing it and an incredible addiction to collecting things. (I think collecting things is a tendency of people born under the sign of the Moon). So I have put these images together to get them out of the filing cabinet and into the light of day. These were actually shot with film. Finding them again has inspired me to bring out the Fuji 680. I'm glad I didn't sell my film cameras. I'd use them as a doorstop before selling them for the price people where willing to give. I guess this mentality goes along with my collection addiction or as I like to think about myself-incredibly loyal.

Henry Horenstein - New Book - Show

Looking at Henry Horenstein's work makes me love black and white photography. There is something so nostalgic or classic or just plain direct about his work. It is refreshing. "Show" is his new book published by Pond Press.

Mile Marker 98

So we took a drive down I 40 for a small job out west Tennessee way. You never know what you will come across. I guess that is why I am the "yes girl". Many opportunities await you if you watch for them. It is the journey, isn't it? That's my feeling anyway. I've always wanted to explore this weird dead spot . The timing was perfect. The light was in my face. The trees' shadows reached toward me. The ice added to the scary factor. I don't know what has killed this little patch of land, but with each passing I always told myself "something is so magical here, Tammy." The area is rich with possibilities.

The Mighty Mississippi

I shot this years ago and since I don't typically shoot landscapes for money I tend to hide them away in a file somewhere. But this image kept resurfacing around my desk and my memory. All my images are up close of people. Maybe this year I will run an experiment by moving away from my subjects. I think to become more competitive as a photographer I need to shoot more babies on seamless and rent more cherry pickers.

A New Year-A New Decade-A New Time

Time is an illusion. The only real thing is now. Let's all be more present in the now, starting now.

I am reading Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now", and I really have to be present to read it.

New years depress me. It is a reminder of time passing. Much of my life has been consumed with the awareness of our finite selves'. The preoccupation of time is stealing my life. It creates discomfort for me in the only thing I truly have and that is now. So in the new year I am working on becoming more present in the moment. I am practicing in watching my thoughts and visiting the clock and calendar for only necessary planning. Remember that life is intrinsically good. Pain exist in perception.

Christmas 1950s

This is a photograph my uncle brought with him Christmas day for me to archive digitally. I am not sure the exact Christmas. I wasn't born yet. Maybe it is 1955.

Momma is the sexy blond with the cigarette in her fingers and Daddy is the broad shoulder cocky man with his arm around her waist. You can barely see their hands clasped. They are in the 30's in this photo.

My mother's brother, Clarence, is to her left and her sister, Lois, is to Dad's right.

Christmas makes me so nostalgic. I would love to be able to recall some detail from every Christmas.

On the back of this photo is a ink stamp that reads

Tom McGee

Staff Photographer

The Nashville Tennessean

RED

Don't Wake The Baby

This is a still from the short film by Elvis Wilson, shot by yours truly. It has been accepted in the Derby City Film Festival. Yeah Rah!

Bodega Bay

Alfred Hitchcock filmed "The Birds" (mashed by Kyle Johnson) at Bodega Bay. It hasn't much changed since the 60's, I'm sure.

The Public/Private World of Photography

This photo was made maybe 1939 or 1940. It is right before my father and mother married.

I love this photograph. It is one along with many other photos of my mother that are some of my favorite things. The value of a portrait of someone you love is priceless.

A friend of mine was telling me about a self assigned portrait she'd taken of a man who sold wood by the side of the road. Only months later the family of the man had contacted her for more prints of that portrait. It happened to be the last portrait of him. He had died a young man, unexplained in the middle of the night. I was so moved by that story. I know the value of a portrait of someone you've lost. The photo of this man was perfect. It was just him casually standing, comfortably engaged in the moment of the photograph, in his element. It is a pure portrait; simple, direct and honest.

This takes me to the topic of public vs commercial photography. I am a commercial photographer. I am mentally and technically set up in my business to work with the commercial industry. It is difficult for me to shift my operation, work flow, my emotional investment to deal with the public directly. I used to be resentful whenever I did. My skills of communicating were lacking and my ego hadn't separated from my work (I still have difficulty here tho). From time to time I will photograph a person or family for them directly. I don't know why but it never fails - it is so difficult for me to get into the grove of the work that comes along with the project. Their is a quick turnaround in the commercial world. The explanation and education isn't necessary with each job, neither is the coaxing, comforting and convincing. Then again maybe it is. We have to estimate (educate and convince), write a job proposal (explanation), send promos by direct mail, buy space in source books, send out email blast (coax), draw up production book, have pre pro meetings etc...(comfort). It is all there. It just looks different.

I believe decisiveness is unique in the commercial world though. And that is huge for me. If I had developed my photography in the public arena I'd be better prepared to communicate and maneuver myself within that world. Maybe I'd be more patient. Maybe I'd learn to see the value of being slow. I appreciate thoughtfulness, thoroughness and diplomacy, I just really like being fast with it. Right now I see myself as pretty decisive. You should see me behind the wheel of a car. There is nothing I hate more than someone who won't make a decision. They are afraid to be rude, or pushy or they're just scared. I see that as possibly getting someone killed, holding up the world and, yes, inconsiderate.

You know this post may have more to do with me breaking line last night at a dinner than about photography or frustration with the gov't.

Hotel Chelsea

Last month I spent time in NYC and to save money I chose to room at the Hotel Chelsea. Paint peeling from the walls, rug stains and a lonely sink was greeted me when I arrived. I was prepared. I even opted for the shared bathroom. It was all good. I felt like I had gone abroad.

Doing vs. Being

A conversation last night started my head reeling on a problem many of us suffer, and that is fear driven activity spent on trying to achieve admiration and control. As I mentioned earlier in my blog I spend way too much time worrying over what others have and what I don't have in comparison and I am keenly aware of it when I see it in others (I'm working on becoming more aware of seeing it in myself-a difficult thing to do). There is nothing sadder to see than frantic, fear driven activity spent on gaining a sense of self based on how others view you. What is particularly sad is to see the activity being presented as altruistic. It is doubly Self defeating. And I mean that from the kindest place in my heart.

For some time now I have been reading Thomas Merton-No Man Is An Island. This morning was amazingly appropriate. The quotes are a reminder of the destruction of ego driven desires.

"The value of activity depends almost entirely on the humility to accept ourselves as we are." And this, "...the purity of our conscience has a natural proportion with the depth of our being and the quality of our acts." And then this is huge; "The deep secrecy of my own being is often hidden from me by my own estimate of what I am. My idea of what I am is falsified by my admiration for what I do."

Fashion Model & Photographer - Elle Muliarchyk

I wish I could get away with this. She reminds me of a dutch roommate I had once. Check out this and this.

Vee Speers

If you like Loretta Lux you will like Vee Speers - The Birthday Party. Here is Vee talking about her series.

Robert Bergman

Opening at Yossi Milo Gallery. Love the story at WSJ (here). It is a fairy tale story. What is so pleasing to see is the simplicity, honesty and respect of the portraits. I get them.